My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is the first book I've read by Lauren Miller - and I don't think it will be my last. Her word-smithing is beautiful. (I think that's a word!) It's another teenage 'issue' fiction book, but it didn't bore me in the least, despite the plethora of books of that ilk being reeled out at the moment. This book has something different - difficult to pinpoint, but thrilling to read.
Jessa suffers from panic attacks. She has done since about eighth grade when her parents divorced. When her dad moved away, her mum forced her into therapy. Jessa's confused, but there's one things she clears about: she does notwant to talk about it. So, acting becomes Jessa's talent. Before, she got good grades and made her parents proud. Now, her grades are suffering, but as long as her mum can't seeher panic, it's not a problem. Right? When she finds Wren, her boyfriend, things become easier. He likes her in a simple way. She's pretty, and she knows what to say when. Who cares if it's all an act?
When Jessa overhears at a party that Wren has been cheating on her, her world splinters. That same night, she is in an awful accident. She can remember it - but not vividly. Because, after the accident, Jessa suffers from aphantasia. This is something I've never come across before, and it greatly interested me. She has memories, but no accompanying pictures to them. Inside her head, all there is is darkness. Outside, the world becomes a riot of colour - something apparently common for people suffering from this condition - but within her head there is nothing. But it gets worse. Jessa begins to realise that she's hallucinating. Hallucinating injuries onto people - scars, burns, bruises. When she
|Lauren Miller herself|
Oh, there's so much more to this story - but I can't write anymore without giving away any spoilers. I'll just say this - each time you think you have the measure of it, Miller turns everything on its head. Each time you think that Jessa's wrong - maybe she's right. It's a rollercoaster ride of a book. I found myself explaining the entire plot line of this book to someone and was practically bouncing as I described it! It's absolutely fascinating, the whole of it: the aphantasia, the hallucinations, the relationships, the philosophy, even her English class studying 'A Picture of Dorian Gray.'
The ending is superb. Miller leaves you with the choice of what you want to believe. This wasn't the book I expected to read.
And for the romance lovers out there - don't worry, there's something for you too!
All in all, a huge thanks to NetGalley and to Three Saints Press for the opportunity to read this. Please, go out and buy a copy - what are you waiting for??
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